Bit of advice for you.
- Don’t make very hot soup.
- Don’t put that soup into a liquidiser, and, because you are in a hurry, think, ‘I won’t bother washing the lid… I’ll just use a plate as a lid.
- Do not align your eyes with the seal of the top of the liquidiser and the plate to check that it won’t, sort of, y’know, spurt out all over your face.
- Really, don’t do that.
Things to be grateful for:
- Water.
- Having a nice clean face from spending 30 minutes under water.
- A nice wife who has good ideas like, ‘you might want to go to A&E’.
- Pretty good soup.
- Being reminded that there’s no rush.
- Being reminded that I am an exceptional idiot.
- The NHS, and having the nurse take about 1 minute to say, ‘you’re fine’, and not spending 3 days thinking my face will fall off.
- The word ‘soup’.
- The moment of stoic comprehension versus uncontrollable laughter in the eyes of the A&E receptionist after saying, ’I just burned my face with soup from a liquidiser’.
- Going home.
What a story!
I once superglued a plastic dragonfly to my hand. It hung from a string from the ceiling and had lights inside which changed from red to blue to green. It was my girlfriend’s (now my wife). I knocked it and broke one of the wings off. I decided to try to fix it. Somehow I ended up with superglue all over my hands and the dragonfly stuck tight. I had to get the bus to the hospital with this thing on my hand. It was my right hand too so I had to do everything like get my change out of my pocket with my left hand. It was much more difficult than my right hand so I caused a proper scene and had everyone on the bus staring at me.
Got to the hospital. At some point a big man in a blue gown took my hand and pointed. “Whats that over there?” Before I knew it he’d ripped the dragon fly off, leaving my gluey skin in tact.
Haha! That’ll teach you.